Lonely..

Today I realize how nice it was to live in the apartments at school. I was absolutely tired of my messy apartment and was convinced that living in my own place would be paradise... There are definitely perks! I love how clean it is, I can select the decor, there's real furniture instead of that play stuff colleges give you, I have amenities! I have a lovely little pond with a fountain right outside of my apartment. Went for a jog today and it was nice to listen to the falling water and have the scenery. While also feeling secure since I am in a small community with little traffic.

But as I sit here in the later hours of the day I am just craving human interaction. I sit in my cubicle every day from 8 - 5 with very little to stimulate my brain and no conversation. Then, I get home to an empty apartment with no one around to invite over. I thought my friends who are close would always be over, but after this first week totally on my own I am mistaken... because we all have things going on in our lives and it is a little bit of a drive.

My argument to my mom about staying in this area was that I wanted my own place and to be around my friends... but it seems her argument was more valid. I may have a job I really really enjoy and could interact with my family if I would have gone to NC.

I know it may seem dramatic since it has only been 2 weeks... but I have this innate desire to create and do something worthwhile. I want to learn and grow... yet I'm already stagnant. I hope that things progress and that this stagnation ends...

I don't know how to go out and make new friends without being put into the same organization, class, or group project...but I'm going to try. Definitely not replacing my old friends, just finding more so that I won't ever have this horrible feeling of being alone.

Even though I have 2 beautiful people in my life that I talk on the phone to everyday and share a deep connection with ... I need in person interaction. I think knowing that they are out there and I cannot drive over to their house to chat in person makes it a bit harder.

But I'll continue to be productive and work through it! It's part of growing up, and that is what this chapter of my life is all about. I am reading a couple of books, have a list of movies to watch, blogs to read, I am going to buy a cookbook (because my random cooking is fun, but I want some direction).

Tomorrow is the weekend! (TGIF has a totally new meaning to me now). And lucky for me, I have plans all weekend! Dinner at my best friends family's house tomorrow, Springs Saturday, and a cookout on Sunday. So here's to always looking on the bright side.

Thank you for reading and bearing with me! This helps me to feel that there is more out there.. and that maybe, just maybe, there is someone else out there looking for a little friendship and understanding in this journey of life.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Dreaming about the future,
Alyssa